Padfoot, I Love You
by FandaticForeverAndAlways
Summary: To see Sirius convicted and held for murder is something which Marlene hadn't considered even in her wildest dreams. But now that it has happened, she cannot digest the fact - she cannot imagine that Sirius, the marauder she is hopelessly in love with is capable of such extreme betrayal. She's not ready to accept it, not until she hears him admit it. Warning: AU


**Disclaimer: JKR owns everything HP**

**Written for Book-Quotes Boot Camp – Prompt6: **When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end. – Twilight.

**Written for Character Diversity Boot Camp – Prompt6: **Sorrow – Marlene MacKinnon

**Written for Head Canon Boot Camp – Prompt16:** I love you

**Written for Movie Quote Boot Camp – Prompt5: **_Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. _(Forest Gump, 1994)

**Written for Television Boot Camp – Prompt6: **Fine... Then I'm not sorry either... I'm not sorry that I'm in love with you – Vampire Diaries

**Written for All Sorts of Love Competition – Prompt: Ansgty Love**

**Written for Latin Challenge – Prompts: **Amor – Love, Credo – Believe, trust, have faith in, Fidelis – faithful, loyal, Lacrimo – Weep, cry, Miser – Miserable, wretched, sad, and Mors – Death.

**Written for Legendary Gods and Goddesses Competition – Prompt:** Hachiman – Write about someone trying to protect someone else.

**Written for Greenhouses Competition – Prompt: **Lavender (distrust) – Write about a betrayal (that may or may not have occurred)

**Written for HP Potions Competition – Prompt: **Dogbane Poison – Write about Sirius in any scenario

** Written for Fan-fiction category Competition –** Prompt: OTP – Write about characters that stick together through thick and thin.

**Written for Ten Times Ten – **Prompts: Azkaban, Black, Dementor, Confusion,

* * *

**Padfoot, I Love You**

Marlene McKinnon stared at the Daily Prophet in her hands. His eyes focused on the headline – SIRIUS BLACK, CAUGHT AND SENTENCED FOR LIFE! – Below it was the picture of the man whom she used to know. His handsome face was twisted into anger as he screamed profanities she didn't understand. Everything about him was familiar and yet everything about him was different. The newspaper in her hand had gathered a yellowish hue and looked as if it had been cried upon a lot. Of course it had – Marlene stared at it every day, and her tears never ceased when she saw the face of the man whom she had lost her heart to.

Despite all the proof, she couldn't help but think – _he couldn't have. He simply couldn't have, anyone who had seen him with them would surely say the same_. – And yet he had. Sirius Black had been James Potter's best friend, they were practically _brothers_! What brother would turn on a brother?

_But Sirius did turn on James._ Again, there was the proof pointing against Sirius, but Marlene couldn't bring herself to believe it. Yes, she mourned for the loss of James and Lily Potter but she also knew that the Sirius Black she knew would have died a thousand times before betraying them. His was loyal – he had been very loyal.

_Apparently, it was all an act._

'No!' Marlene cried, crumpled the paper and threw it far away from her.

She sat hugging herself as sobs took over her body. After what seemed like hours, she regained herself. Wiping her face of the salty tears, Marlene let out a strangled cry and walked toward the crumpled Prophet. She picked it up off the floor and straightened it with her palms. She placed it on the table and stared at the face which stared back at her.

* * *

For months she had been trying to make her mind up, and finally, she had decided.

_'No one in their right mind would visit Azkaban willingly, Marley. It's a place people avoid at all costs.'_

Marlene's grandmother's voice felt fresh in her ears, as she thought of those words repeatedly. A month had passed since she had decided to visit Sirius Black. Considering that he was deranged, dangerous and especially a top guarded prisoner, the Ministry had been reluctant to grant her request to see him. They had infact looked so surprised and suspicious that she might have as well committed the murders of all those innocent muggles and Peter and betrayed the Potters as well.

After days of discussion and enquiries, she finally got a letter from the Ministry giving her the date and time for her visit to the most dreaded place in the entire Wizarding World.

Marlene hugged her sweaters closed to her body as they neared the entrance of Azkaban. Though the Dementors were quite at a distance, she could already feel the cold enveloping her as her worst thoughts began to cloud her mind.

The official, Melvin Torres, accompanying Marlene, was a middle-aged man. She observed that he looked a little peaky too but much better than her. He hadn't spoken a thing throughout the ride – Marlene suspected that he considered any acquaintance of Sirius Black equally worse – but was surprised to find him give her an apologetic smile.

'Hang in there, dear,' he told her as they walked past the gates.

The sudden change left Marlene gasping. The cold, the despair, the feeling of never being happy enveloped her completely. She had never felt so weak and vulnerable. She felt like turning back and running away – never returning to this torture. She felt a clammy hand envelope hers.

'Are you OK?' She heard a vague voice. She looked up to meet Torres' eyes; he looked a little worried as he watched her.

'I'm OK,' she managed to say, taking a deep breath.

_Her grandpa's death … the fear of being caught and tortured … losing Sirius … losing Sirius …_

_Sirius … Sirius … Sirius …_

She felt a vague sense of strength as she thought of Sirius. "I am OK," Marlene repeated in a voice much steadier than before.

Torres merely nodded, and let go off her hand. Swallowing the paranoia and fear, Marlene followed him. The walk to Sirius' cell seemed to take forever – Marlene noticed that as they got closer to his cell, the number of Dementors increased.

'We're here. Uh – I'll be right here. In case you need any help.'

Marlene vaguely heard his words, she was more interested in meeting her m-_him_.

The door made up of thick metal rods was opened, and Marlene walked behind Torres. 'You have a visitor.' She was shocked to find malice and disgust in his voice. But then again – Sirius was after all a convicted murderer.

The sight of the man in front of Marlene, unnerved her. 'Could you please wait outside?' She asked quietly.

Torres gave her a worried look, but nodded anyway and walked out. She could see his shadow looming over the door. Though she wanted more privacy, she thought that it was much better to have him wait at the door rather than being present in the dingy room where her every word could easily be heard.

Marlene didn't realize that Sirius had looked up on hearing her voice. Ever since he had been arrested, the Minister along with his minions visited Sirius regularly – it was always the same old questions – which Sirius honestly didn't have answers to.

'Marlene,' he whispered in shock as he watched her.

'Sirius . . .' she wanted to say but her words stuck in her throat, her eyes strayed to the manacles made of metal around his wrists and ankles.

He stared at her, as if memorizing her every feature to perfection. Marlene didn't realize that she had walked toward him, until she was about a foot away. The more she stared at him, the worse he seemed to look. She couldn't believe how he could change so much in just four months. His face which had once been handsome and cheeky was now nothing but haggard. His shiny black hair which had been long but not too long now looked rough and unkempt. He seemed much thinner than the last time she had seen him. But that wasn't the worst part – the worst part was his eyes, his ever bright and ever exciting eyes which had pulled her to him were just empty.

Marlene knelt down, unable to stand on her wobbly feet as she took in his appearance. The combined effect of despair that the Dementors had made her feel was _nothing_ compared to what she felt just by looking at Sirius.

'Missed me?' he asked as he gave her an almost crooked smile.

It was hardly a shadow of what it used to be.

Tears once again started to fall down her face as she threw herself on the man she loved and hugged him, holding him close. He smelled like he hadn't bathed in days but that didn't hold her back. She buried her face in his neck as cried – cried for the loss, for the future they would never get to have.

His manacled hands only allowed him to place her hands on her sides, but it was better than nothing. He didn't say anything but he didn't have to say. The kiss on her temple was more than enough.

Once she realized that she was being stupid, she moved back. She hadn't visited him to hold him and cry completely at his mercy. Choking back the sobs and holding back her tears, Marlene regained her composure. She looked down at their hands, which he seemed to have managed to enclose within his.

Reluctantly, she pulled them away and stood up.

'You're leaving?' He asked while disappointment marked his waxy face.

_Stay strong._

'Not yet,' she answered, pursing her lips.

He gave her an empty smile again; her heart fluttered as she gathered the courage to ask him what she came to know. 'I – I wanted ask if ––?'

'Would it change the way how you feel about me?' He cut her sentence, his expression harder than ever.

She knew that he knew the answer to that better than her. As much as she would try to hate him and forget her love for him – she wouldn't be able to. Deep down, under her pretence, he would always be the man she fell in love with.

'I _need_ to know.' She stated firmly.

He stared at her for few moments, and then started to speak. 'James was my brother Marlene, I loved them like family – I would never – I would never . . .'

His unfinished sentence hung in air as Marlene took in what he meant. 'You would never betray them,' she said softly. The weight that had been holding her down ever since his arrest seemed to lift, she finally felt free.

'Yes,' he answered, his voice was quiet and pained.

'You're innocent,' she breathed.

'In a way,' he nodded.

'Oh Sirius, I'm going to prove it,' she whispered, knowing that she would try her best to prove that Sirius Black was the man everyone thought he was.

Before he could reply, Torres intervened. He entered, his eyes focused on the pair in front of him. 'Time's up.' He stated, looking at Marlene pointedly as he avoided Sirius's gaze.

'Find Mooney – talk to him, ask him to visit –' Marlene cupped his cheek and placed a peck on his cracked and dry lips.

'I promise . . .' she whispered not completing the sentence. She knew he would understand – he would know what she meant.

Torres cleared his throat from behind them; Marlene met Sirius' eyes once more. His empty orbs now held a flicker of hope . . . as she stared into them she knew that she couldn't fail him.

'Goodbye,' she said, and with a lingering look at him she walked out of his cell.

* * *

The next day, when the Minister visited him, he thrust the Daily Prophet at him. Sirius caught it deftly, his chains dangling. His eyes found the article the Minister had intended him to see – MCKINNONS KILLED BRUTALLY, DEATH EATERS STILL ON REVENGE RAMPAGE!

_It couldn't be! Not her . . ._

Below the headline was a picture of – just as he had dreaded – Marlene and her family. He knew that the Minister was accusing him of things, but Sirius couldn't focus. His thoughts were concentrated on the brunette with olive eyes who had captured his heart. The only thing he knew was that – his beacon – his hope – his love – his girl – was forever gone from the world.

Once again, he was alone. Once again, he had lost someone very dear to him. Once again, he was a man whom everyone believed to be nothing but a murderer.

* * *

**AN: I love Sirius/Marlene, there are just made for each other in my head canon. Yes, in the books the McKinnon family dies before Voldemort's downfall, but this is Fanfiction, right? Also, I imagined that not everyone acted like the Malfoys. Some, like the Lestranges' made sure to avenge the loss of their Master by trying to kill as many people as possible.**

**I hope you liked it! Please do leave me your thoughts. =)**


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